Episode 49: Endurance For The Road
An interview with Betsy Montague
Betsy shares her in-process story of enduring.
The Seeds
Name: Betsy Montague
Where do you call home: California (NorCal & SoCal)
Relationship Status: Married
Season of Work: Serving God in Retirement
Hobbies: Travel, Travel Planning, Cards, and Anything Involving Family
Jesus Journey: In my younger years, my parents took us to a Catholic Church 2x a year–Easter & Christmas Eve. We had a picture Bible in the home and I read the stories often. When my husband Mike & I started dating in 1989, he brought me to his church–First Baptist Orlando and it was there that I accepted Christ as my Savior. An interesting way that I like to ‘translate Jesus’ with others is to share that about ½ of my life was lived without following Christ and over ½ of my life has been lived following Jesus. I can share the contrast of the two ½’s of my life with others.
The Branches
How have you practically “endured” seasons changing, transitions, liminal spaces, setbacks, heartbreak, and grief?
I have learned that when I fix my eyes on Jesus and His promises, “enduring” through life’s challenges becomes more bearable, in a peaceful and content way. When I focus on the reality that My Creator’s got this and has always been there wanting the very best outcome for me and my family, I can endure anything. I often think of Nehemiah 8:10 - “The Joy of the Lord is my strength.”
Epic’s mission has also been a blessed reminder for me to ‘orient’ my entire life around Jesus. I find that when I do this, I can have a warrior-type stance as challenges come my way, with God’s strength, not mine.
In May of 2022, I was experiencing severe fatigue and swollen legs, so Mike took me to a walk-in clinic, which led to a 5-day hospital stay, blood transfusions, and a bone marrow biopsy. This turned out to be stage 4 - blood cancer (Leukemia - CLL). My family and Epic family have been praying through this journey and have been a huge source of support. God has answered many prayers along the way. Today, I still have cancer (there is no cure for Leukemia), however, my blood counts are in a very healthy range, my advanced targeted meds are working exceptionally well, and I have regular checkups with my oncologist/hematologist. God is good and I am grateful for this miracle.
You’ve worn many hats, been assigned many roles, created, led, served, and loved all over the world. As you look back on your life so far, what have been some of your favorite assignments and why?
All of my vocational assignments have been amazing (thank you God)–this includes 20 years with Disney and then as a consultant with other companies. When my kids were in elementary school, I took an unexpected break from full-time work to homeschool my two children (as their teacher)--best assignment ever with my favorite humans (including Mike).
As our kids were starting high school, we moved to China for 4 ½ years for Mike’s job as Project Director (Imagineer) building Shanghai Disneyland. The kids attended a Shanghai international school and I served as a consultant and board member for our expat church’s community center in China. While there, I also taught Bible studies and led small groups. I consider these 4 ½ years to have been a mission trip. So many blessings to be a part of (thank you again, God!)
After we returned to the U.S., we moved to San Francisco and I joined the staff at Epic Church SF for 3 ½ years as Ministry Operations Lead & Host Team Director. Couldn’t have asked for a better way to finish my career before retirement. Love the people and the opportunity to continue to serve at Epic! All of these assignments have a ‘favorite’ aspect to them. When I look back at each, I see God’s hand guiding and blessing each assignment in my life.
We have lots of mothers in different stages here at Olive Us. You are a mom of two adult children. When they were little did you work outside of the home? If so when did you go back to work and what was that like?
When Ryan was very young, I continued working at Disney. Then, my daughter was born and I chose to leave full-time work and start my own consulting business part-time to allow myself to be with the kids–Disney was still a client. We wanted to raise our kids and this worked out well for a few years.
I also volunteered in my kids' public elementary schools as a teacher’s assistant. God was prompting me to take them out of that environment and this led to homeschooling. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions we’ve ever made and a highlight in my life– the ability to teach them, with Biblical studies (which are not taught in the public schools.)
There’s the saying…“The days are long and the years are short.” How would you encourage your past self: a.) The newly married Betsy b.) Betsy with toddlers c.) The Betsy with teens d.) The YP Betsy?
Newly married Betsy: Put God first and enjoy your days as a couple–before the kids arrive:). Strengthen your marriage by attending couples’ Bible studies and conferences. Be open to learning from other couples. Agree to talk through everything, good and difficult topics–ex. make budgeting/money management together fun. Choose to love unconditionally and be easy to love back.
Betsy with toddlers: keep date nights going and enjoy every stage of your kids' growth--remember that this is just a season and they will grow into another one. Show lots of love and encouragement in this stage and next. Choose joy. Get rest and take care of yourself.
Betsy with teens: listen more and talk less - teens want to be heard and encouraged, not lectured to. When we listen, we 'hear' what is on their hearts and minds. Listening to teens leads to them being more open to hearing what you say only after being quiet; demonstrating genuine empathy– "Seek first to understand, then be understood."
Young Professional Betsy: remember that you work for God, not people--don't let others bother you or impact your day so much ('people pleasing');. Keep the perspective that where you are working now is for a short time (for such a time as this) and God wants you to make a positive impact on those around you, don't be inwardly focused or allow others to ‘make’ you mad, sad, or any other negative emotion.
Anything that requires endurance can sometimes feel and sound like it’s“joy-less” due to the hard, uncomfortable, and unpleasant. As you’ve faced life transitions, grief, parenthood, and medical challenges have you been able to experience joy and “have” joy?
I have matured in this area over time for sure. When I was a parent of young kids and teens, joy was not always my first thought. The toddlers and teen stages of life were met with regular challenges and different in each stage. Our toddlers were more dependent on us and then all of a sudden they were teenagers and they wanted all the independence without responsibility. A shift in parenting approach is needed!
In situations where Mike and I aligned with God and realized that we needed to change our parenting to fit the season of life–putting our role in a purposeful perspective, it became more enjoyable and peaceful for everyone.
Can you share a time when you have felt like you were at the end of your rope…tired, hurting, sad, disillusioned, or in despair…but you heard from the Lord or someone in your family or community helped turn things around for that day or season and re-ignited your light which gave you endurance?
During a very challenging time, Ryan was in a public Elementary school and struggling. We were told he had ADHD and was difficult in the classroom. Mike & I researched putting him in a private school. After his interview with an administrator at the private school, we were told that the only way he would be admitted was to hold him back one grade year. This was a super stressful time for us as we felt Ryan was simply an overactive toddler.
We decided not to hold him back and keep him in public school. The following year and after much prayer, God provided the most wonderful 3rd-grade teacher, her name was Mrs. Wiffen. She took Ryan under her wing and told us he was doing just fine in the classroom and at the end of the year told us Ryan might have been acting out of frustration because he was bored and not challenged enough. She gave him more challenging assignments to test this and she was right--in hindsight. It would have been more frustrating for Ryan if we had held him back a grade. Just when we felt we were at the end of our rope, God sent us Mrs. Wiffen. She was an answer to prayer!
We later experienced another challenge in Elementary school, this time with Nicole. The teacher told us she may have a hearing problem. We took her to the doctor and he said she had no hearing problem. I volunteered in the classroom to see firsthand what was going on. One day, the teacher was giving the 2nd graders instructions on an assignment. She mentioned 3 things to do. After Nicole finished the 1st thing, she asked the teacher to repeat the second and third. The teacher assumed Nicole had a hearing problem from this and told me so.
I suggested that writing the 3 things on the board might help. As it turns out, Nicole has a low auditory learning style which may have contributed to her asking for the next two assignments to be repeated. Her visual learning is very high–she retains/learns best with visuals. In both situations, I am grateful to God for helping us not settle on the first advice given and persevere to the real issue.
These two examples and others led to our decision to homeschool through the rest of elementary and middle school --so glad we did, best decision! Praise God!
A year or so ago you and your husband Mike decided to purchase an RV and travel around the country. How did you come to that decision?
Yes! 1 ½ years ago, Mike and I bought an RV to travel the country. In the previous 2 years, we had been daydreaming about, researching, and even visiting RV showrooms to see which one would be a good fit for us. We love National Parks and both wanted to see more of the U.S. and were both excited to take to the road glamping during our first few years of retirement. After my cancer diagnosis, we chose to start RVing sooner. I retired from Epic last February (2023) and Mike continues to work remotely as we travel.
What has surprised you about your time away with Mike on the road?
Mike & I have been married for 33 years so I knew it would be fun and that Mike would be a great camping partner! He was also an Eagle Scout as a kid:). We do miss our Epic Church family and being near our kids–even though we see them often at meeting locations. For example, last Thanksgiving, we were in Bend, Oregon and they flew out to spend a week with us. Recently, we were in Los Angeles visiting Ryan for over a week.
We love meeting new people at the campgrounds and noticed that encouragement is needed wherever you go. We try to remind ourselves to ‘Translate Jesus’ (we are both reading Shauna Pilgreen’s book) through our approach to people we meet. The RV community is our mission field!
Romans 5:3-4 Paul says: “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” What do you make of “rejoicing in suffering?” Has your praise, worship, and relationship with God despite hard times produced endurance, character, and hope even if the result of the hard doesn’t change, heal, or go away?
Everything great in my life is a blessing from God. I am grateful. I realize this is a broken world with broken people--including me! I expect to have challenges and suffering while on earth. I didn’t always see it this way and would react with a ‘why me?’ mindset. I have suffered watching my father go through Parkinson’s, my mother's death a week before my cancer diagnosis, my eldest brother's wife dying of cancer while their kids were young and my other sister-in-law learning she has breast cancer recently.
There is sorrow and pain in life, no one escapes this, but there is also the ability to have hope and peace in the journey with Christ. I love this quote from Pastor Rick Warren, “God doesn’t waste a hurt. The world doesn’t have a good answer for how to endure. But followers of Christ patiently endure suffering, hardship, and trouble of every kind as it’s a way to bear witness to the Good News of Jesus. Your deepest ministry will come out of your deepest hurt–and your deepest life message will come out of your deepest pain, you have a testimony. How will you use it to help bring others from despair to fullness of life in Christ?”
Olive Us was created for women to share their in-process stories and be reminded they’re connected through Christ and not alone. Why is this important?
I remember when I was homeschooling some of the women/moms were feeling alone and disconnected from others. I believe the enemy loves this and is targeting families. We have to stay in community with others in every stage of life.
The homeschool community we were a part of had a network of 130 families, and we would often encourage new homeschool families to join the network and stay connected to others.
The Olive Tree
Finish these statements:
God is…awesome, loving, and with us always!
Endurance is…full of hope and peaceful with Jesus.
‘Olive Us’ are better when…we are connected to Christ and to a Christian community.