Episode 48: Pastoring the People
An interview with Jessica Gracewski
Jessica shares her in-process story of Pastoring.
The Seeds
Name: Jessica Gracewski
Where do you call home: San Francisco, CA
Relationship Status: Single
Season of Work: Associate Pastor
Hobbies: Walking (Pilgrimages, Europe, Hikes), Backpacking, Ice Coffee, Reading, Art
Jesus Journey: I took my faith seriously around 20 years old, but had a season of figuring life out until my late 20s. At 27, had an experience with God falling back “in love” with Him while walking in Europe.
The Branches
One of your assignments is to be a Pastor at a church in San Francisco. Have you always known of your teacher/shepherd gifting? Did you see being a Pastor in God’s plan for your life?
Absolutely NOT! These were steps of faith little by little and then growing exponentially over time. I call it slow & steady burn - more like my life hiking motto - one step at a time. The patterns I notice and am aware of are that I decide to be open to where God might lead me. I ask Him, and then He answers. Then I am automatically resistant to it - but depending on how large the resistance is, it usually is the direction I end up going with God. This is more my discernment process.
Examples: Taking this job where I pastor now, I told the pastor in my interview I had no idea why I was there and that I didn’t want to work at a church b/c it was my issue and I was working through it.
Saying YES to the Associate Pastor role - I first said NO. Ha ha!
I did not always have the gift of teaching or shepherding - I did not know my gifts for a long time. I knew whatever I did had to be highly relational, but even now I feel like I am in a season of refining and learning more about my gifts and awareness of God. I mostly am just being earnest and honest with God using me and being open to saying YES before anything else to God. He can work out all the details after.
Often when we look back at the storyline of our lives God shows us in hindsight He was preparing us all along for our current season and assignment. When you look back, what makes sense now that didn’t then? Said another way…was there a word from the Lord, a mentor in your life, a job you held, or an experience you had…that when you look back you say, “YEP, God you were there and you were preparing me to be a Pastor.”
Ha, it was more meta questions like “God what in the world are you doing?” “Are you SURE you want me to do this?” It would be a prayerful act of obedience to step out - even if I wasn’t sure - to try and figure out what God was doing sometimes. However, I had both significant men and women in my life who were sometimes a little bit ahead in pastoring or teaching that could help me and give me insight. Some of the things they told me or asked me were:
“Don’t you want to live a life of faith?”
“Time will always be moving forward, why wait, go for it!”
“What if you just say yes and figure it out with God?”
“There are no wrong answers in stepping out in faith.”
I also had mentors help me, encourage me, and guide me to learn how to listen to the Holy Spirit. These same mentors also help me develop a deep prayer life and integrate a Rule of Life.
Who is your favorite Woman Pastor/Shepherd/Teacher in the Bible?
Deborah or Junia - honestly, a lot of women’s roles in the Bible were so significant but not flashy. I love Junia because she is often referred to as the “hidden” apostle - she wasn’t hidden from God. But her story of being among the disciples preaching and teaching the word and following Jesus.
Just because we’re assigned to a certain role or possess certain giftings doesn’t mean we don’t go to battle over insecurity, pride, and jealousy. What have you battled/battling concerning your role as a Pastor and how do you overcome it?
One of the biggest hurdles was being in a “first and only” role. The first Asian American woman, single, who is the first Associate Pastor as a woman, and what that entailed. The discernment and wisdom process was a long and difficult one that was a part of my faith and growth journey. There weren’t many to look to and every person’s story in ministry is different. There are some things we can only learn ourselves. I was looking for someone to tell me what to do and how to do it and I wanted someone who did it before me so I could just follow and copy what they did.
More women are becoming Pastors over the last few years…but only by a little bit. What’s more common is women being told they’re only allowed to use their teaching/shepherd/evangelism gifts for women and children. In many spaces I sit in not all women get to use their gifts in their local churches. How do you hold the tension of getting to use your gifts at your local church, but knowing other women all across the world cannot?
This is one that sometimes will keep me up at night, and sometimes I just am resolved to be used by God when He desires me to be used by Him - in whatever capacity. It is an offer of surrender to submit to God’s workings - this can be hard. But, it is a position that I do not hold lightly - I think deciding to even say YES to this was hard because I knew the weight it would or might take.
Why is it important for women who are called by God to teach and preach the Word of God to be obedient?
We trust that God knows what He’s doing when He creates men and women. We trust God’s character is all centered around love and we take our cues from Jesus. There is only something women can unlock, encourage, show, and build in the church. God has a unique gift and purpose for the women out there in communities of faith. There is only something you are uniquely designed to be able to do. Instead of using it as a disadvantage or an obstacle, it also can be used for something very powerful and beautiful in the church. You embody an aspect of who God is, His character, His word, and how He is embodied to others - for the sake of others and for God to be exemplified. I’ve provided some resources below in the “Olives To Go” (see below) that have been helpful on my journey.
For those who are on teaching teams and Pastoring there is quite a weight. Weight of the call, weight of being the only Woman, weight of being the only WOC. Do you feel any of that weight?
100000%! I just preached yesterday and it is such an interesting call. You are trying to synthesize something you experienced with God over 10 years, but invite people into your journey with vulnerability and all that you are and with words - that can be limiting. For me - the classic example yesterday - was so difficult to do. Some things happen with our bodies and minds and spiritually when we are open to preaching - we’re offering every aspect of ourselves to God to be used. I’ve heard it said it’s like a pro endurance athlete.
How do you make sure the weight of your assignment doesn’t take you under?
Community!!
Practice, learning, and growing - on repeat!
A robust prayer life
In a 2023 study by the BarnaGroup, there was a rapid decline captured when it came to Pastoral Security. They defined pastoral security as having confidence in your calling and overall well-being. For women pastors, a 25% decline was reported. These women noted they’d lost confidence in their calling since starting ministry. This percentage is increasing for women when compared to the percentage of pastoral security reported by men. For the Women Pastors, Teachers, and Leaders here at Olive Us who can identify with not feeling confident in their call, what encouragement would you like to offer up today?
Seek out men and women who can offer their experiences in the role of teaching and preaching. This isn’t so much about “improving” but more about building community and building resources for not just yourself and what you’re trying to learn, but also for the larger community of Women. Some of my first initial asks with people are just people who I’ve seen and who I could learn from. All different styles of preaching and teaching - and asking all about the process of writing and forming. Honestly, one of my greatest resources is my coworker who has years of reps and teaching - He can help me discern and ask questions and critique - all to help me grow! And then, for me it was starting to look for opportunities and saying YES to those who asked me so I could share resources - and by no means am I an expert!
How can men and women who don’t share this assignment encourage, pray for, and support Women Pastors and Teachers in their lives?
Keep an eye out for those who might be interested in getting connected with others. Part of the joy is helping connect those who desire to learn with other kinds of resources and to share talents/gifts in the church.
What is your favorite part of Pastoring?
The people - the relationships.
The vision and mission that God gave followers of Jesus to help embody and release gifts in the church.
The local church and building up community.
As hard as it is sometimes, no line between work and life - but helps embody and integrate all areas of our lives to be used by God. Helping others be able to do that is so amazing!
The Olive Tree
Finish these statements:
God is…WORTH the sacrifice and the pursuit.
Women who are called to Pastor are…beloved and cherished by God.
‘Olive Us’ are better when…we commit to the long haul together.
Olives to Go
Book Mentioned In Episode:
Together in Ministry by Rob Dixon
The most influential books I’ve had in the past few years for my leadership development
Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton
Sacred Rhythms by Barton
Relational Spirituality by Todd & Rebecca Hall
The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Pete Scazerro